Pink and Black
by Jadyn
Summary: When forced to teach at Hogwarts, Remus's twin sister turns the place -as well as the people- upside down. And Remus faces a few issues of his own, though not by choice.


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Pink and Black

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by Jadyn

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Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters or the lyrics used in the titles. I own Rommie Lupin. Please read my Author Notes.

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Pink and Black

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Chapter 1 [I'm Just A Girl In The World]

A fairly nice train ride into the country had turned into a fairly nasty one for Rommie Elizabeth Lupin. Somewhere around Leeds, it had started pouring rain, and it hadn't stopped since. Near Edinburgh, she had to open a window and let an owl in the car, because it had been following the train for nearly an hour and she couldn't ignore it anymore. The owl was angry with her and tried to bite her hand when she took the letter from around its leg. The letter was short and seemed to have no point other than to annoy her.

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Rommie,

Just wanted to make sure you were on your way. Good on you for coming.

Albus

Rommie wrinkled her nose, disgusted. Good on her for coming?! She didn't even know what she was coming _for_! She hated all this stupid mystery surrounding everything nowadays. It came from every possible place: her parents wouldn't tell what they were up to, ever (but when she thought about it, that wasn't all _that_ unusual), and her brother would barely speak to her, and then, when he did, everything was always ridiculously mystic and cryptic. Not to mention he usually sounded like he needed a Prozac. And now a man she had met maybe three times in her entire life was not only writing her on a first-name basis, but also inviting her back to her old school. What the hell was going on with the world?!

The owl, rested and still angry, flew out the window and away, skimming Rommie's head. Rommie swatted at it, but it was gone. She sat back in her seat and sighed heavily, wishing that the Hogwarts Express allowed smoking. She was becoming snappish and had already run the sweet lady who pushes around the cart off for asking if she wanted some Drooble's Best Blowing Gum to chew while she waited to get off the train. Rommie made up her mind to apologize after she got some nicotine in her system. Tired and anxious, Rommie leaned her head back and fell asleep, wondering if Hogwarts stocked gin and vodka in its kitchen.

Several hours and a good nap later, Rommie was awaked by the lady with the cart telling her that the train had stopped and she could get off. Rommie thanked her and got off the train, which immediately left. She watched it go and turned around to walk through the gates, only slam smack into something very large.

"Well, we was wonderin' if ye'd show up," a familiar voice informed her. Two giant arms wrapped around her, locking her in a massive hug.

"H - Hagrid!" she half-cried out, half-choked out. "I'm so glad to see you! I don't have to take the boats, do I?" she added, glancing up the dark, now drizzling, sky.

"Naw. There's a carriage for ye around here somewhere. Ah, there it is. It'll take ye up to the castle. Professor Flitwick is waiting for ye there. Have fun!" He hugged her once more, quickly, and she climbed into the carriage. The unseen horses began to pull her towards the castle, and when she looked back at Hagrid, although he was smiling and waving, she got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

The carriage seemed to disappear the second she got out of it, or maybe it was that she was overwhelmed by the presence of the castle, just as when she was a young girl. She approached the huge wooden doors, which opened for her on their own. In the Great Hall, she stood and looked at things, reminiscing for several moments before she realized tiny Professor Flitwick had approached her. He tugged at her slacks, pulling her out of her little dream world, clearing his throat and 'ahem-ing' over and over again. Just seeing him made her smile.

"Professor! How have you been?"

"Just fine, Miss Lupin, but we've really not got the time to chat. We can talk as we go." He began to march up the stairs as if he were in a great a hurry, and Rommie followed him, keeping a conversation about different charms. Several floors up and around a corner, they stopped in front of a very large gargoyle. "Fizzing Whizbee," he announced in an important voice, giving Rommie the impression he was showing off. The gargoyle blinked at them, and leapt aside as the wall behind him opened to reveal a moving staircase, almost escalator-like in motion. When she and Professor Flitwick stepped onto it, the wall closed behind them, making Rommie jump at the noise. The staircase moved up in a spiral going for what she thought would be forever, until at last they reached an oak door with griffin doorknocker. Flitwick knocked twice and opened the door without being answered, motioning Rommie in with his hand.

Inside what turned out to be Albus Dumbledore's office sat four people. Well, three were actually standing. And when Dumbledore stood up to shake Rommie's hand, no one in the office was sitting. Save Rommie, because she had to sit down before she fainted. 

"Yes, yes, how rude of me. Do take a seat. Tea? Welcome back to Hogwarts, Rommie. We're all very glad you came, because we needed you this year. We have a very special job for you and the recommendation came very highly." The words were tumbling out of Dumbledore's moth, a rare thing to happen. Everyone in the office was staring pointedly at Rommie and she had no idea what was going on.

"So what do you want me to do, and where did the recommendation come from?" she ask, lighting a cigarette. Everyone in the office, with the exception of Professor Severus Snape, who was standing in a corner, screwed their faces up a bit, but managed to ignore it. Rommie didn't care anyway. She could feel the stress really beginning to eat at her, and she needed some relief.

"Well, Rommie," started her brother, Remus Lupin, at whom she had been glaring, because she felt he had had a rather large hand in this. "Hogwarts is always rather needy for a good Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and, well, it_ is_ the family business, you know… we've all studied it and I felt that you could help out."

Rommie barely managed to control her temper. "You mean to say, that because Mum and Daddy _made_ me take extra schooling in Defense Against the Dark Arts, you think I'd be a good person to _teach_ it to a bunch of grubby kids? I'm a music producer, for God's sake! I don't deal with children! What the hell do you expect me to do if one of them can't tie their shoes, or go to the bathroom on his own?!"

"They're teenagers, Miss Lupin," Professor Minerva McGonagall replied. "Not only can I assure that each and every student is capable of taking care of him or herself, but from what you brother tells us, I can assure you that you'll be just as good a teacher as he was."

"Then why doesn't he teach again?"

"Because I'm busy with --"

"SSSSHHHHH!" The entire office quieted Remus at once. "Because I'm busy with some things," he quickly answered, looking at the floor. 

"Well, I'm busy, too! I actually have a job! What about that?! And what about all of my things?!" Now Rommie was angry _and_ confused. And she felt like she was losing the situation, because she knew that Dumbledore could make anything happen.

"I took the liberty of having your things brought here. Remus and Severus went to your flat and brought them all here. All that's left in London is the apartment itself. As for your job, that's up to you. You could take leave, or quit. Or I could have a talk with the head of your company.'

"And what exactly would you tell him? That I'm leaving for a year to teach at a magical wizarding school?"

"Probably. Andrew is an old friend of mine. Class of '57, in fact."

Rommie knew when to give up. "Goddammit. Fuck you. Fuck you _all_. Where is my room?"

Remus made a move to get up and guide her, but Rommie looked as if she might attack him. McGonagall and Snape were sent in his place, after his fears were expressed, and confirmed as correct. As Snape brushed by her, he stopped and turned around, presumably to greet her.

"I don't like you and I'm not in the mood, so please leave me alone, preferably for the rest of my stay here," she spat, lighting another cigarette.

"I just wanted to tell you that, when we were packing," he said, extending his hand. "I took proper care of your things."

"Ah, okay. Thanks, I suppose."

"And I appreciate your taste in lingerie."

"Really?" She smashed her lit cigarette into the palm of his outstretched hand. "And I appreciate Madam Pomfrey's marvelous skills in the area of second-degree burns." She left him behind, clutching his hand, and followed Professor McGonagall, who stifled a laugh and proceeded to lead Rommie to her room. 

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Author Notes: I do not advocate Mary Sues. Rommie is not, however, a Mary Sue. A MS is a character that is your typical perfect, brilliant, beautiful girl (usually based on the author herself) who shows up and everyone loves her and [main character of story other than MS] falls head-over-heels in love with her, not only worshipping and treasuring her, but also _getting jiggy with her_ five paragraphs into the story.

Rommie is by no means this. She couldn't be this if she tried. She's a drunk who does _not_ want to be stuck at Hogwarts teaching DADA, but has to because of her brother. (More on that in a moment.) She chain-smokes, she gets smashed and then had one-night stands with people she shouldn't. She can't accept love, due to a bad experience when she was younger and worst of all, _she can't see any of these faults._

As for Rommie and Remus, they're twins. Everybody knows about Romulus and Remus (and if they don't, they should.), and you'll see what happens to these two. 

So you're not guessing, Sirius and Remus were a couple. 

The title lyric comes from No Doubt's "I'm Just a Girl" (_The Singles 1992-2003_). I pretty much stole the Mary Sue definition from CryingChild's Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Red Bull.

Thanks! 


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